Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

 

Name: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Directed By: George Barry

Subgenre: Surreal, Romantic 

Series: Spooktober 2018 entry #21

Review: This is an actual, real movie whose existence was famously lampooned (and revived, I'd wager) by the great Patton Oswalt. I watched all 80 or so minutes of it on Youtube, and I'm frankly still kind of baffled that this exists--this will be recurring sentiment in future Angry Objects subgenre entries which, because of course there's more than one of this type of movie (and I'm all for it). Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is about a killer bed that eats people. Death Bed is a weird movie--surrealist, if you're willing to give it credit; insane if you're not (and I can't blame you for coming to that conclusion). The film managed to simultaneously keep me utterly fascinated with its bizarre plot yet bored stiff with the plodding pacing and equally stiff acting. While atmospheric, it had no real charm to it. As novel an idea as a killer bed is, you'll likely want to turn the movie off after the first few repetitive kills--long before you get into the real meat of the plot: and yeah, Death Bed actually has a plot to it. For a movie about a killer bed, it has a surprising amount of depth, perhaps overly so given the premise is about an evil bed that eats people. So, what is the plot, you might be wondering? Well, it's actually a bit of a love story, in a strange way, and the fallout of this not-quite-Shakespearean tale plays out through the generations by way of a bed that eats people. So, you can probably understand how difficult it is to rate something like this: it's a surrealist horror film with a campy idea, but instead of intentional cheesiness the film grasps at moody, gothic atmosphere that ultimately falls flat; I'm not entirely sure the director was even aiming to create a horror film*, though the idea behind the kills is fairly gruesome even if there's practically no gore. If you appreciated the movie Rubber, you'll likely find some value in Death Bed...even if that's purely to tell your friends that you watched Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.

*: I won't take time here to fully delve into the idea of what, exactly, makes up a horror movie and all the gatekeeping that goes along with it (at least in this review). To be succinct, films can have horrifying or scary elements to them, but if the overall intent of the film is aimed at eliciting those (and related) reactions throughout the film, I don't believe it falls under the category of horror movie.

Overall Score: 2.5 out of 5 Chads now reconsidering that afternoon nap. Did Death Bed: The Bed That Eats scare you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

IMDB: Here

How to Watch: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is available on these platforms. 

Official Trailer