Poorly Curated Lists

Have you ever opened up your streaming database, now flush with at least a dozen or more apps each with their own exclusive libraries of thousands of different films and series, and then feel a bit overwhelmed? Analysis paralysis is a very real phenomenon, and it can take the wind out of your horror-seeking-sails if you're not prepared. 

Well, friends, I've got your back! A big motivation for getting around to starting this blog was being able to create my own repository of reviews and recommendations for people, and part of that involves sorting by different themes and experiences. You might know you're in the mood for scares and want something that the Council of Chads has really enjoyed throughout the years, then check out the Top 5's list! Maybe you're wanting something more somber, a slowly-building bag of dread and discomfort: then Slow Burns are perfect for you! Maybe you've got friends or family members that aren't old or ready for the more trying horror films out there, then maybe something on the Family Fun list might help get their toes wet in the genre! 

The way I see it, lists are for specific themes and styles, so not every review I do will automatically be placed on a list--make sure you're also checking out my Labels and Series! This page will always be growing, so if you can't find something that you're looking for, then leave me a comment--you might just inspire a new list!

Lists

Council of the Chads' Top Ten of All Time

The Council of the Chads have curated--poorly, as they often do--the list of their top ten horror films (or series?!) of all time. 

Spooktober Top-5's

Every year, the Council of the Chads convene to watch brand new (to them) horror films every single day throughout the month of October and then decide which among the rabble have risen to the top!

• Spooktober 2018: Spooktober 2018 had a lot of great contenders! The Council argued amongst ourselves for days in deciding this list; inter-Chad relationships have been harmed in this decision. If you disagree with this list, then at least one of the Chads will likely agree with your take! 
• The Loved Ones (4.5): The Council was not aware of this film prior to a friend recommending it midway through the month, and we're glad that she did! This sleeper hit is a grueling tale of toxic infatuation, brutal torture, and shocking secrets. This one doesn't pull its punches! 
• Mandy (4): This psychedelic revenge flick takes some time to get where it's going, but you'll be treated to some beautiful visuals before all Hell breaks loose. It's a wild, Nic Cage-y ride. 
• Terrifier (4): A cheeky gore-fest with an evil clown who's on the fast-track to becoming a modern horror icon. 
• Spring (4): Boy meets girl, but girl happens to be an eldritch abomination. It's a genre defying mix of romance and Lovecraftian imagery and, while it might be slow for some, it's definitely unique. 
• Galaxy of Terror (ironic 5): The Council would be besides ourselves if we did not include our first completely unchained review on the equally insane Alien knock-off. It's got psychics, it's got karate, it's got alien monsters, it's got boobs--what more do you want?
• Spooktober 2019: Another strong year of entries, though the Council was stronger in our opinions this time around. Maybe your opinions are just as strong? Let us know!
• Little Monsters (4.5): Quite possibly one of the most charming zombie romantic comedies (zom-rom-coms) you'll have the pleasure of laying your eyes on. Happy squealing noises, indeed!
• Possum (4): A divisive pick given how slow the film is, but the combination of creeping dread and absolute 180 of an ending left the Council feeling collectively gross. This does not happen often, so we cherish this morbid feeling. Do note that this film is the impetus for the Feel Bad Films list below.
• Creepshow Season 1 (4): The Council is not without their biases, and strong anthologies can hold much more weight than films given the extra variety. While it has its hits and misses, the first season of Creepshow feels like the rightful heir to the anthology throne carved by Stephen King and George A. Romero in the 80's. While it plays up the 50's era horror comics with an 80's flair, there's likely something in here for everyone. 
• Prevenge (4): A woman goes on a killing spree inspired by the psychic commands of her prenatal child. A wacky premise executed in a thoughtful, compelling, and fun manner. 
• In the Tall Grass (4): This thriller, based on the Stephen King story, had me thoroughly compelled with its weirdness, and when it delved into primordial, quasi-Lovecraftian dimensions, it won its place on the year's leaderboard. 
• Spooktober 2020: 2020 was an interesting year, to say the least. There were far fewer top entries this time around, but those that made it onto the top are some of the most memorable horror movies I've seen in quite some time.
• His House (4.5): A perfect blend of real and allegorical horror filtered through a cultural lens the vast majority of us are likely unfamiliar with. It's scary and moving in equal measure. 
• Tigers Are Not Afraid (4.5): Tied for first with His House, this film shares the blend of real and allegorical horror but with a fantastical spin. It's a beautiful, painful watch. 
• Possessor (4.5) Brandon Cronenberg proves the apple doesn't fall far the tree, at least in terms of directors who masterfully weave tales of overindulgence in technology with body horror. It's a challenging watch in terms of plot and unflinching brutality. 
• Host (4): Necessity is the mother of invention, and limitation is the father of creativity. Due to COVID-19 lockdown procedures taking place around the world, film production screeched to a halt, at least in the traditional capacity. Host proves that new media can be just as effective at delivering scares, and it does so with practically zero bloat to its plot. It's a simple and effective modern ghost story. 
• The Lie (3.5): While The Lie has practically no overt scares, it doesn't exactly try to, either; rather, it tries to get you to empathize with the main characters. The real horror comes from where that might lead you. It's not without its imperfections, but watch it with a significant other and then see how scary that conversation goes. 
• Spooktober 2021 (TBA!)

Slow Burns

Folk Horror

Perfect for Halloween

Better With Friends

Representation Matters

(Queer, Black, Native, Female-Directed, distinguish between Foreign films) 

Evil Clowns

We all know that clowns can be creepy. The age where clowns--those folks in bright makeup with manic personalities and hijinks to spare--were considered funny has come and gone, and it seems like the only place left in the entertainment world for those who went to clown college is now to dive into the deep waters of horror. This list is all about those clowns who'll cut you down while wearing a smile--and might just do it wearing your smile! If you know of any other evil clown flix (that are worth watching), then let me know!

• 31: Robert Zombie's 31 is a sordid game of cat-and-mouse where kidnapped people have to survive until dawn against an ensemble cast of freaky clowns with lovable names like Schizo-Head, Psycho-Head, and Sex-Head, that are hellbent on killing each and every one of them in gruesome ways. 
• While not related to 31, Mr. Zombie's Firefly Trilogy--House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, and 3 From Hell--features a very naughty clown called Captain Spaulding, played by the late (and great) Sid Haig. 
• Terrifier: One of the Council of Chads' top pick from 2018, Terrifier features Art the Clown, a devilishly cruel and charismatic clown that enjoys spending his Halloween nights carving people up in a variety of gory ways. It's over-the-top graphic, but in a fun way. 
• Art the Clown debuted in a 2013 anthology flick called All Hallows Eve. More clown-based chaos!
• Freaks and Freakshow: While not clown-centric, these films are centered around a circus act and their titular freak-shows. There's probably a clown lurking around the circus, but their screen presence is limited--it's a great entry for those wanting to give clowns a chance (and are willing to be disturbed by the other circus performers)! 
• It: Stephen King's original cosmic horror-turned-clown was originally a TV mini-series back in 1990, with Pennywise played by the legendary Tim Curry. The franchise was recently rebooted, with varying success, as a two-part film series in 2017 and 2019. A scary clown that feeds on fear? Say it ain't so!
• Gacy: More a documentary than a typical horror movie, it tells the story of John Wayne Gacy, a real-life clown (Pogo or Patches the Clown) turned serial killer and sex offender. Jinkies!
• Killer Klowns From Outer Space: One of the wackiest movies you'll have the privilege of seeing, even if the gag goes stale after a while. It's pretty much exactly what you're thinking it is.
• Clownhouse: A slasher about escaped mental patients who take on the persona of clowns and cause a ruckus the night before Halloween. A bit forgotten now that we know the film's director, Victor Silva, who was sexually assaulting the 12 year old lead of the film during its production. I can't support the guy (even if he made one of my favorite horror movies growing up, Jeepers Creepers), but maybe you're willing to give the film a chance. 
• Poltergeist: While not particularly clown-centric, there's at least one scene in the original Poltergeist that involves a spooky clown.
• Blood Harvest: So, you've probably watched SpongeBob at some point, so you might be familiar with that little jingle known as Tiptoe Through the Tulips by a very curious fellow called Tiny Tim. Well, Tiny Tim also starred as a killer clown in this mostly forgotten slasher. 
• Amusement: Another fairly garbage direct-to-video anthology film that's got some clowns in it. It's not good, but if you're jonesing for some clowny goodness, then this might stave off the jitters for a bit.
• Scary or Die: An anthology film that is saved by its longest segment, Clowned, about a man who gets bitten by a rabid clown named Fucko. He slowly starts transforming into a flesh-eating clown afterwards. It's about a were-clown, folks. 
• Stitches: A horror-comedy about an evil, undead clown out for revenge. It's pretty zany.
• Clown: Eli Roth mixes clowns with body horror. Enjoy!
• Clown Doll: This 2019 flick combines your favorite phobias--evil clowns and killer dolls--into one neat, silly package. It's not particularly great, but it's marginally unique. 
• The Houses October Built: A found-footage film about a group of friends who find themselves stalked by a disturbed group--including an evil clown--after looking for a very particular Halloween haunted house attraction. It's actually a good movie.
• Hell House LLC: Another found-footage, this time about a documentary crew who return to the scene of a haunted house attraction that had malfunctioned and killed 15 people. There's a spooky clown in here. It is also very good, so check it out. 
• Carnival of Souls: An evil clown is released from jail and proceeds to torment the daughter of the women he had killed years earlier. 
• Clowntergeist: CLOWN GHOSTS
• Killjoy: Full Moon Films' low-budget (do they do anything else?) effort at combining It with blaxploitation films of the past.  It's absolutely silly as long as you watch it with the right group of friends. There are several sequels. 
• Wrinkles the Clown: A documentary-drama about the real life character known as Wrinkles the Clown. It's not a horror movie, but it has some creepy elements; it's more intriguing than overtly scary. 
• Joker: A potentially divisive choice, but the 2019 film about Batman's arch-nemesis is billed as a psychological thriller, so it's capping off our list of evil (misunderstood) clowns.

Family Fun

Hellist

Angry Objects

Feel Bad Films