Galaxy of Terror

 


Name: Galaxy of Terror

Directed By: Bruce D. Clark

Subgenre: Sci Fi, Fantasy

Series: Spooktober 2018 entry #24

Review: So, like...Galaxy of Terror is about this spaceship crew who goes to this planet named after your friend's D&D world as a rescue mission for a downed craft, then discover a GALAXY OF TEEEERRRRORRRR. Every good sci-fi spacefaring crew has a psychic aboard, so this crew uses theirs to do a "life scan" on the planet and find that there's literally no life on the damn thing, which is very strange because this is science-fiction, not science-fact. Oh, and the fact that she's psychic literally never gets mentioned again. Then this one guy is scared of everything, so of course a spooky space spider kills him first. No biggie. Then, Robert Zombie's factor actor, Sid Haig, comes in and is like "don't worry, I've got my special crystals," but then his crystals break...but THEN they magically reconstruct, so he's like "cool, my special crystals are back," but then the crystal breaks off and stabs him in the arm and starts like floating up his arm like its a cool little boat cruisin' along his bloodstream, and then he's like "well, I can't have this now," so he uses the other crystal to cut off his whole arm...but then the arm is like "haha, I'm still alive." Then, he dies. Then psychic lady comes back, sees his dead body covered in maggots, so she burns them all up with her ray gun, but she misses one, and that leftover buggo grows into this gargantuan vermin forces itself upon her, and they wriggle around sticky and nude for a very long few minutes, and then she also dies. So the other crew mates are like "well, they're all dead, but we should investigate this big ass pyramid over there," so they do, and everyone starts absolutely freaking out, and Freddy Kreugar starts fighting himself but realizes he's literally fighting himself and learns he has to conquer his own fears...and then he is never on screen again, but his mustachioed friend figures it out too by osmosis or something, then confronts the glowy-headed Master behind the whole GALAXY OF TERROR who's like "haha, you can't kill me with your ray gun, I'm a MASTER, remember?!" so he remembers that he's gotta conquer his fears, so he does that by facing off against his dead crew mates and beating the space-hell out of them with kung-fu and also his ray gun, then comes back to the Master and is like "I've conquered my fears now," and the Master is like "I honestly kind of doubt that," so he stands up like Superman and fires a ray of COURAGE out from his heart and kills the Master, but the Master's like "haha jk you can't actually kill me, you just take my spot as the Master now," and mustachioed man is like "dope." The End.

Galaxy of Terror is dumb and great and I love it.




Overall Score: 5 out of 5 Chads absolutely rippling with raw 80s courage. Did Galaxy of Terror scare you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

IMDB: Here

How to Watch: Galaxy of Terror is available on these platforms.


Official Trailer



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