Corona Zombies

 

Name: Corona Zombies 

Directed By: Charles Band 

Subgenre: Satirical Zom-Com

Series: Spooktober 2020 entry #31; review #93

Review: It's been a hell of a 2020. I don't need to ramble on about how much the past year has affected, well, everyone and everything. I mean, as of writing this entry, the U.S. is on the cusp of rolling out COVID-19 booster vaccines, there are ongoing wage/labor shortages in all manner of industries largely impacted by the virus's spread, and face-masks are somehow still political. COVID-19 has touched damn near every facet of our lives, and it doesn't look like it's going to fade away any time soon. In times of hardship, it's a nice reprieve to escape into works of fiction, and biting satire can help ventilate some of those otherwise pent-up feelings in a more healthy way. The time is ripe to riff on the subject to help take the edge off...but is Corona Zombies the right film for the job? Well, no: Corona Zombies isn't a good movie. Sorry to be the crush your spirits, especially to cap off such a weird, trying year. But, like...y'all already knew this wasn't going to be the next Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, or even Return of the Living Dead; no, Corona Zombies is more Unending Year of the Brain-Dead. [applause break] Curiously enough, Corona Zombies is very much a Frankenstein's Monster of a movie. Produced by notorious B-Movie distribution company Full Moon Features, Corona Zombies uses clips from Hell of the Living Dead and Zombie Strippers with redubbed audio. The only new scenes added revolves around our main dame, Barbie, following her return home after getting into a fight over toilet paper. She's our expositional guide through the film as she speaks to her equally ditzy friend and watches various news clips--some of which incorporate archival news footage of President Trump and spring-breakers doing what spring-breakers do best. Barbie treats us with a rapid-fire smorgasbord of jokes you've probably heard before, then the film oscillates between extended clips from the above zombies films, focusing primarily on Hell of the Living Dead. Hell, being an Italian zombie film in the 80's, has periods of intense gore that Corona Zombies doesn't flinch away from in addition to unintentionally comedic acting and pacing. Unfortunately, Corona's intentional comedy is extremely hit or miss, with the vast majority being misses with the hits growing tiresome during its already short run-time (roughly an hour, like the much leaner Host). Honestly, Barbie's dialogue ends up being the most entertaining part of the movie and the reused footage just feels like a failed joke that just won't end. The actual "plot" of the film is pretty much exactly what you would expect: scenes from the introduction of Hell of the Living Dead, specifically the laboratory gas leak, are repurposed to show how COVID-19 escaped from that one lab in Wuhan that your uncle keeps wanting to tell you about on Facebook. From there, those infected with the virus turn into zombies. Cue more redubbed footage for the remainder of the film. You can see why the running joke--as outrageous and offensive as it may be--starts to wear thin after a while. The premise was there, but this just feels like a lazy cash grab at the end of the day. But hey, maybe the film's sequel, Barbie & Kendra Save the Tiger King, will be better. Right? Right, guys...? Happy Halloween, and I'll see you where the shadows live.

Overall Score: 1.5 out of 5 Chads greased up with hand sanitizer and ready to wrassle for toilet paper. Did Corona Zombies scare you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

IMDB: Here

How to Watch: Corona Zombies is available on these platforms.

Official Trailer