Let's Scare Chad

  Name :  Scare Me Directed   By : Josh Ruben Subgenre : Comedy Series :  Spooktober 2020 entry #1; review #63 Review : To kick off the new decade's season of scary stories, I figured: what better way to celebrate the horror genre than by starting things off with a film about strangers telling each other scary stories? That's the premise of Shudder Original: Scare Me . Unfortunately, that's nearly all it is: two strangers (who both happen to be horror novelists in varying degrees) sitting around a cabin acting out their ideas for scary stories. You'll find more special effects in your local theater than in Scare Me ; the first hour and a half of the film is this back-and-forth exchange of tales that takes place entirely in the theater of your own mind. It has a quirky charm about it, with an emphasis on framing and lighting, but not enough to make it all that entertaining. The film stars Aya Cash (i.e. Stormfront from The Boys ) and writer-director Josh Ruben who p...

  Name :  Creepshow , season 1 Directed   By : Various--check the IMDB page linked below, as each of the segments in the anthology were directed by a different director.  Subgenre : Anthology Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #31; Series Killer #2; review #62 Review : Creepshow is an anthology series of horror shorts with each episode comprised of two roughly twenty-minute tales. The series is an episodic reboot of the original franchise helmed by Stephen King and George A. Romero back in the 80s; and, like the films that preceded them, the tales are woven together with an aesthetic very intentionally evoking an aesthetic of horror comics from the 50s with wraparounds hosted by The Creep (the ghoulish thing on the thumbnail). Like every anthology, and say it with me: 🎶some tales are stronger than others🎶. In Creepshow, each entry features a monster or phenomenon of some kind. Hearkening back to the 80's again, the monster designs are primarily done with practi...

  Name :  Killer Sofa Directed   By : Bernie Rao Subgenre : Comedy Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #30; review #61 Review : When going into a movie by the name of Killer Sofa , the first thing you should do is set your expectations waaay low. This is not a horror movie you watch to be emotionally or artistically challenged; this is a horror movie that you watch after a couple of drinks and joke about with friends (à la the Gingerdead Man ). So, Killer Sofa is about a sofa that is a killer. More specifically, "a killer reclining chair becomes enchanted by a girl and starts committing crimes of passion" (courtesy of IMDB). It's silly. It's really silly. But, it's also really fun. I mean, you've probably never seen a sofa peak around the corner with its beady eyes to stalk the woman that it's become obsessed with. So, points for being unique. The lighting and framing actually do a fairly good job of making the sofa look somewhat eerie--that is, until you r...

  Name :  I Trapped the Devil Directed   By : Josh Lobo Subgenre : Psychological Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #29; review #60 Review : A man and his wife return to their family home for the holidays only to find the man's estranged brother there, and he claims to have trapped the Devil in the basement. I Trapped the Devil plays out like an episode of the Twilight Zone (specifically "The Howling Man"), and is one of the more stylish films I've seen this month--Christmas lights against dark backgrounds can be an eerie, alluring aesthetic. As expected, the majority of the film revolves around the question of whether the brother is struggling with his sanity or whether he had, in fact, trapped the Devil. The question is eventually answered, though the answers will only leave you with more questions. That said, I Trapped the Devil is a complex film that makes fantastic use of the limited budget they had, though the ambiguity will be enough to polarize people...

  Name :  Therapy Directed   By : Nathan Ambrosioni Subgenre : Found Footage, Slasher, Foreign Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #28; review #59 Review : I don't typically like watching movies relating to my profession because I tend to be overly nit-picky. Thankfully, Therapy has exceedingly little to do with actual therapeutic practice. But, in an effort to make up for that, the writers used the plot as a vehicle to answer a question you probably hadn't considered before: "who is editing all of these found footage horror movies?" Evidently, the police. In Therapy , we follow two concurrent stories that get woven together until a fairly lackluster climax. On the outset, we get to see a found footage style tale of a family whose matriarch gets kidnapped by a masked serial killer (the mask also looks like a very slightly modified Michael Myers mask--not super creative). In between those shots, we see a police investigation team struggling to quickly process the found ...

  Name :  Uncanny Annie Directed   By : Paul Davis Subgenre : Supernatural Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #27; review #58; Blumhouse's Into the Dark entry #1 Review : Simply put, Uncanny Annie is basically Jumanji but with horror trappings and none of the charm. A gaggle of college students decide to spend Halloween playing some board games to honor their late friend and end up playing Uncanny Annie, game housing a sadistic spirit whose schtick is killing via challenges (and who leans way too hard at the whole spooky infantilism thing). The players are subject to a series of party games that have been perverted into something far more fatal. Problem is, save for a few scenes, the games aren't all that interesting. They're beset by a handful of spirits, but the designs are, frankly, lazy and uninteresting. The characters are more compelling than the usual teen scream fare, but that's because the film spends too much time building up the drama between the...

  Name :  The Field Guide to Evil Directed   By :  Various--check the IMDB page linked below, as each of the segments in the anthology were directed by a different director. Subgenre : Anthology, Foreign Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #26; review #57 Review : The Field Guide to Evil is an anthology of 8 tales of dark folklore from 8 different countries. While the US is included (with one of the weaker entries), most of the other tales are in their native languages--get ready for some subtitles! And, on the topic of representation, the majority of entries are from European or English-speaking countries, so don't expect tales of the penanggal, jiangshi, kongamato, or the like; that said, the monsters or tales in the film will likely be new to most viewers, including the US entry. They may be new, but are the entries interesting and/or spooky? For the most part, yes--at least to the former. Like The VVitch before it, these entries aim to evoke other emotions b...

  Name :  Mom and Dad Directed   By : Brian Taylor Subgenre : Comedy, Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #25; review #56 Review : Don't be like me and assume it's a remake of the sadistic (but effective!) British Mum and Dad , because it's a completely different movie. Imagine that parental instinct to love, nurture, and protect your children, and then invert that; in Mom and Dad , a strange, unexplained signal short-circuits those instincts causing parents to go into a murderous frenzy aimed solely at their own offspring. If that plot wasn't gonzo enough, the film also stars Nic Cage, and the director basically gave him free rein to be his Nic Cageiest. It totally works with the premise, and the clash of crazed personalities contrasts well with his wife's (Selma Blair) more reined-in approach to, ya know, murdering their own children. The first half of the film feels like a plot-isolated take on The Crazies and showcases scenes from all over the town (incl...

  Name :  Eli Directed   By : Ciarán Foy Subgenre : Supernatural Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #24; review #55 Review : Eli focuses on its eponymous character whose family takes him to a private medical center (that also happens to be a spooky mansion) to treat that debilitating disease from Bubble Boy. Of course, spooky scary shenanigans follow, including a twist that I'm sure left M. Night Shyamalan practically glistening with moisture. It might be fairly jarring for most viewers since the twist sort of comes out of nowhere. That said, I actually enjoyed the twist and thought it made an otherwise mediocre setup (but decent premise) into something far more unique. Comparing this to other films would only spoil the fun, and I did have plenty of fun with it. It probably won't scare you, but it is likely a well-executed iteration of bog standard ghost story that you likely haven't seen before. Overall Score : 4 out of 5 Chads not wanting to leave their safety-bubb...

  Name :  Panman Directed   By : Tim Pilleri and Jim Zaguroli Subgenre : Slasher, Romantic Comedy Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #23; Trash Panda Files #3; review #54 Review : Thanks to my long-time friend, Gwendolyn, for the suggestion--if you're reading this, we desperately need to have a bad/ fantastic movie night soon! Folks, this is how you make a movie. Merely calling it a "movie" is a disservice to the film; Panman is a genre-bending, transcendent experience. Panman is a film about loss, revenge, love, and also a demon-possessed, serial-killing chef with a pot on his head. How are you not sold on this already? Panman is an exploration of the soul, of the very notion of whether redemption is possible in a world so full of pain and pans. The movie will leave you changed. Overall Score : 5 out of 5 Chads desperately clutching their secret vials of pesto. Did Panman change you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! IMDB : Here How to Watch : Panman...

  Name :  Little Monsters Directed   By : Abe Foresythe Subgenre : Zombie Romantic Comedy Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #22; review #53 Review : This is the 2019 version, not the trippy but still fun 1989 version with Fred Savage. Little Monsters bills itself (via the attached movie poster) as "the big-hearted zombie comedy we've all been waiting for." Evidently, I never knew how much I wanted a zom-com. Little Monsters follows a dead-beat uncle who volunteers to chaperone his nephew's school field trip in order to hit on his teacher as they find themselves stuck in the middle of a zombie outbreak. As she does in everything she's in, Lupita Nyong'o steals the spotlight, and she has great on-screen chemistry with Australian discount Chris Pratt. Horror comedies are a mixed bag, and its hard to find one that has the perfect balance of both elements; like the better known Zombieland , Little Monsters stays mostly on the comedic side of that fence, but the ...

Name :  Rosemary's Baby Directed   By : Roman Polanski Subgenre : Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #21; review #52 Review : Before we begin, let this sentence serve as your generalized content warning. Now that you've been ominously warned, let's cut right to the meat of it. Rosemary's Baby is a classic by famed director Roman Polanski, but should it be? In case you haven't seen it, it's about Rosemary having a baby. But, like, other spooky shenanigans happen. And yeah, this happens to be the third part of my unintentional Pregnancy Horrors Trilogy of reviews (the others being Prevenge and Hell Baby . With a run-time of 136 minutes, it's definitely on the slow burn side of horror and possesses little in the way of overt scares. Even the climax is, frankly, fairly anticlimactic with its melodramatic overstating of the obvious. Rosemary's Baby 's claim to fame is its methodical breakdown of Rosemary's life as nefarious forces seem to sl...

  Name :  Proxy Directed   By : Zack Parker Subgenre : Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #20; review #51 Review : Proxy is primarily a drama/thriller with horror elements, and while those elements are few and far between they definitely check the some horrific boxes. Proxy tells the tale of Esther who, after her prenatal child is murdered, joins a support group for grieving parents that ultimately leads her to even darker depths. The film has one of the most grueling opening shots I've seen in a while: the violence is gratuitous but isn't pornographic in its level of on-screen depravity (i.e., it's not torture porn, but gruesome nonetheless). Those horrific elements are clipped on to long passages of time that replace the built up tension with a growing sense of mystery and intrigue as the plot weaves together seemingly disparate character stories into a greater whole. The ending will come as a bit of a surprise unless you're paying attention (though, spoile...

  Name :  Hell Baby Directed   By : Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon Subgenre : Comedy Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #19; review #50 Review : Hell Baby is a horror comedy from the creators of Reno 911! and stars an absolutely stellar ensemble cast of comedians (including Rob Corddry, Leslie Bibb, Kumail Nanjiani, Keegan Michael Key, and several members of Reno's finest police department among many others). A heavily pregnant wife and her husband move into their newly purchased fixer-upper only to find out that it's, shockingly, haunted by an evil spirit. The wife gets possessed and gives birth to a, you guessed it: hell baby. Bloody hijinks follow. While it's no Shaun of the Dead or Tucker and Dale vs. Evil , Hell Baby is a decently effective horror comedy. The gags are pretty juvenile and absurdist (example: hot potato tossing the hell baby and accidentally tossing its twin, normal baby into the mix), so set your expectation for the comedic aspect to an a...

  Name :  Welcome to Willits Directed   By : Trevor Ryan Subgenre : Sci-Fi, Creature Feature Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #18; review #49 Review : As you can probably guess by the giant alien head gracing the movie poster, Welcome to Willits is ostensibly a sci-fi horror mashup. That's not exactly wrong, but the plot fairly rapidly becomes more ambiguous than what it seems on the cover. And that's for the best. Welcome to Willits weaves together the stories of a meth-addicted farmer and the young campers that find themselves accidentally stranded on his pot farm. Also, Dolph Lundgren plays a cop in an in-movie television program, so that’s fun. Welcome to Willits is squarely a B-movie, and it doesn't try to be anything different: and it executes what it sets out to do in a fun way with some surprisingly effective practical effects. Don't get me wrong, you won't accidentally think you started watching a snuff film, but the gore is still well done. For what it...

  Name :  Fractured Directed   By : Gaspar Noé  Subgenre : Foreign, Surreal Thriller Series :  Spooktober 2019 entry #17; review #48 Review : Climax is an A24 flick and directed by Gaspar Noé of Irréversible and Into the Void fame. Given the A24 pedigree, you can assume few things right off the bat: slow, almost painfully methodical pacing, amazing cinematography and score, and a pretentious level of artistry that will be horribly divisive to viewers. All of that is true for Climax . The film is about a dance troupe that gathers for a dance party that devolves into chaos after someone spikes the punch. The first half of the film is just dancing. There are (over)long scenes of pure, unscripted and improvised routines that, while a bit grating (compared to similar scenes in Suspiria are better paced and better fit the horror genre), are actually fairly hypnotic to watch given the outstanding talent of the cast. Like those in the film, our experience as viewer...